


I (Don't) Worship You

by bubblyArtisan



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Goldilocks and the Three Bears Elements, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 04:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15186944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblyArtisan/pseuds/bubblyArtisan
Summary: Derek Nurse had the worst luck with his romantic relationships. Every time, they started off all right, but by the end, there was some sort of terrible imbalance of affection. That was, until he found that perfect medium.





	1. Robyn

Derek Nurse had the worst luck with his romantic relationships. Every time, they started off all right, but by the end, there was some sort of terrible imbalance. He either felt like an absolute nothing, a toy to be played with and displayed for the masses, but discarded when not in the public eye. Or he felt like he was unable to get away from his partner, suffocated with love. 

There was Robyn, for example. They were a sweetheart from the very start, and the first date was textbook levels of perfect, like they had been studying and preparing for it. Everything went exactly right. Nursey felt like it was meant to be, this was the one. The pair held hands when they went out, and texted often. They were that couple being all lovey dovey in the quad and on dates, the “no you hang up first” type. But, as it always does, it got old. Fast. 

When Derek went out with Dex, or Farmer and Chowder, or any of his friends, Robyn came along with. Even when he never told them where he was going, they would just so happen to be there and tag along. And they didn't seem adverse to being as mushy as they wanted even when Nursey was clearly just trying to hang out with friends. It made everyone uncomfortable as hell, but Robyn did not seem to realize a thing. They just kept on clinging. 

Derek wouldn't have minded if they just wanted to spend a lot of time together, and he at least appreciated that they let him spend time with other people and didn't seem necessarily jealous and territorial, just mushy. Until they weren't. There was a huge kegster celebrating the end of midterms, and Nursey was really feeling this song. He had three drinks in him already, and they were starting to warm his skin and make his muscles loose. Plus, he had a really rough time in one of his classes and hadn't really done anything besides study and spend time with Robyn, who insisted on giving him at least one or two study breaks a day. He definitely needed them, and they let him get back to it within an hour or so, so it was all good. 

But of course, he hadn't really seen his friends for a good week and a half, so he missed them. This kegster was for his people, not just his person. So when he was on the verge of drunkenness and feeling himself really hard, how did he show his affection? Dance, obviously. He was really just starting to get into it, mouthing the words of the song and sliding his hips to the beat while he smiled at Dex, who was doing his best to impersonate someone with rhythm while also avoiding spilling what he had in his cup at the moment. They weren't grinding by any means, but their dancing was getting a little into Ransom and Holster territory. That was, until Robyn pushed their way between the two of them with enough force to knock Dex out of the way and spill his drink all over that white v-neck that made his chest look really nice. 

“what the hell, Robyn?” Dex cried, attempting futilely to brush off the brownish liquid that was sure to stain into a gross yellow if he didn't leave immediately to go clean it off, which he did. Nursey and Chowder had made sure Dex was aware of how nice that shirt made him look, and he had been getting some looks from some girls that told him as much, so Nursey knew he'd be trying to preserve it as best he could. 

“Now that he's out of the way,” Robyn hummed, smiling and wrapping their arms around Nursey’s neck to act as though that hadn't just happened. 

“Yo, that wasn't cool, babe. You fucked up his shirt, and that was a nice shirt on him,” Nursey complained, trying to take a half step back. 

Robyn followed, and replied, “I noticed. I also noticed you looking at it a little too much for my liking. So I decided to step in. Plus, don't you wanna spend time with me and not him? I missed you…”

“We hung out before the party started,” Nursey said, and Robyn only shrugged and smiled in that sweet, loving way they did all the time. It was beginning to feel a little sickly sweet, to be honest. 

Nursey huffed and just kept dancing for a moment until the song ended and he excused himself to the bathroom. At the shut door was Chowder, looking at him strangely.

“I saw what happened out there, man, what the hell was that?” Chowder declared. 

“I know, that was super uncool of them. Is Dex in there?”

“yeah, he's trying to save his shirt… Nursey,this might not be like the best timing, but can I be totally honest? I don't like Robyn. They're really clingy and not good for you. And… I didn't really wanna tell you about this like this, but this isn't the first time this has happened. They always give Dex really threatening looks, and he's told me once or twice that they've subtly threatened them over text before to stay away from you,” Chowder confessed, and Nursey was shocked. Around him, Robyn was civil and didn't seem to have a problem. But after that, he didn't have a hard time believing Chowder. Especially since he wouldn't lie about that. Just then, Dex emerged with a soaking wet but mostly saved shirt. It somehow looked even better, this time really revealing those chiseled muscles that Chowder and Nursey were aware of only through the locker room, normally hidden under the layers Dex always wore. He agreed with Chowder. 

“Robyn totally thinks I'm trying to like, steal you or something. Like it's not totally your choice who you're with anyway… Like they have to fight tooth and nail to keep you around even though you haven't been anything but good to them, as far as I've seen. Plus, I'm not trying to steal anyone, ” Dex defended. 

Just then, Robyn pushed forward into the trio and pointed at Dex, hissing, “yes you are! I mean, look at you! You clearly wore that shirt to tempt him away from me. I've been doing everything I can to keep him away from you, but you still pull stunts like this!” they then turned to Nursey and pleaded softly, “baby, you know that all isn't true! I wouldn't do that! I just love you so much, I gotta protect what's mine!” 

Nursey scoffed, “that isn't true? Then why did you just say what you did to Dex? Sounds like it's all true. I'm sorry, these three months have been really nice, and I could deal with the clinginess, but this is where I draw the line. You can't threaten my best friend like he's some… Some kind of competition! He's my best friend, and there's nothing between us. You've seen every interaction we've had in the past three months, and you're already freaking out at a little bit of dancing? There were a solid five inches between the two of us, which is something in a crowd like that. I'm sorry, but you need to go.”

“Fine,” Robyn cried, voice rising in pitch, “I'll go! See if I don't! I'll never come back! You'll never see me again! I sacrificed everything for you! I spent only my time with you, gave all my energy to being around you! I haven't seen my friends in three weeks! I love you!”

“But I never asked you to do that for me. I never wanted you to do that for me. And we've only been dating for three months, how can you know that you love me?” Nursey replied, and Robyn just pushed out of the way, tears in their eyes. They shoved past everyone and ran out into the night. Nursey almost wanted to run back, follow them, but something stopped him. That was too many red flags for one night. He could handle losing this one.


	2. Steve

The next time he went on a date, it was nice. Maybe not as perfect as Robyn’s first date, but he had since discovered that they had been stalking him a month prior to find out just what he liked in order to make that happen. It had been researched 

But with Steve, it wasn't like that. He was the most woke football player he'd ever met, really genuinely seemed like he knew what he was talking about and believed it. Nursey knew enough that it couldn't have been a night's worth of googling in order to impress him. And when Nursey casually mentioned going out with his friends the next day, Steve didn't invite himself. 

He merely said, “oh, sounds like fun,” and continued the conversation. It was excellent. They held hands on the way back, but Steve walked a good foot apart. Nursey assumed that was just how he gave courtesy, allowing for space, which Nursey felt a weight lift off his chest when he noticed. It was absolutely different from Robyn, who he worried still followed him around sometimes. 

Things were great for a while, with the two of them meeting up maybe once a week or so and having a fairly platonic date, until they got somewhere totally private where Steve damn near ravaged him. He was amazing in bed, and it seemed like he had pent up all of his feelings into the sex. Nursey really felt like he had found the one, once again. Someone who was full of passion, but not obsessive about it. Just enough feeling in public, and all the rest pouring out in private. The opposite of Robyn. 

Soon enough though, Steve seemed to have no interest in the date part, and actively avoided Nursey when he saw him on campus or around Samwell. Especially if he was with his friends. It seemed as though his friends didn't even know they were in a relationship or something. He knew the football team had a decent number of gay people, an that Steve was completely out of the closet to all of them. So he was confused as to why he wouldn't at least introduce him to the team! 

“hey, babe, can we meet up somewhere? We need to talk,” Nursey had called him and asked. 

“sure sexy, your place or mine?” Steve said, his voice low. 

“no, I mean really talk. Not just hook up,” Nursey insisted, and he heard a long sigh over the phone. 

“can't we do it over the phone, then? I'm busy,” Steve replied, his voice showing significant less interest than it had before. 

“what, so you have time for- ugh, whatever. I just was wondering why we haven't gone out together for a while, and why you almost seemed to avert your eyes when we ran into each other the other day. What are you so afraid of? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“oh, uh, well, I don't remember that. I just guess I didn't see you or something, and it looked like I was trying to avoid your gaze but I wasn't, I promise. I'll introduce you to the guys someday, don't worry. But we'll have to make plans for that another time, hot stuff. I gotta go, bye,” and without waiting for Nursey’s response, Steve hung up. 

This went on for a few more months, and Nursey got more and more confused, more and more concerned. When they were together, Steve was a sweetheart. He even stopped trying to hook up each and every time, and sometimes they would just cuddle and watch a movie or something. They fucked more often than not, yes, but it was an improvement nonetheless. But he still yet wouldn't take him out or introduce him to his friends. 

One day, when Steve got up and left in the middle of a movie like he was late to something, but refused to say what, Dex came and sat down on the couch where Steve had been. 

“Nursey, I know you like him, but I don't trust Steve,” Dex warned, “he's definitely not proud of being with you, and I wouldn't doubt if he wasn't being loyal. Plus, I see how much it hurts you when he avoids you like this… have you talked to him about it?”

“yeah, well, sort of. I.. I don't think he's cheating, though, he does care about me,” Nursey said, his tone not even convincing himself. 

“I don't know, man. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but maybe he's not quite the ideal for you either. He's definitely better than Robyn, but he may well just be on the complete opposite of the significant other spectrum,” Dex said. 

“Since when do you care so much about me, anyway?” Nursey chirped, “I know we haven't fought in a while, but this is a lot of emotion coming from Mr. No Homo himself.”

“look man, I'm just trying to look out for you. I guess it's not really my place, but I don't know. You just seem really miserable after you interact with him. And you are my best friend, so I don't like seeing that… Chowder has noticed the same thing, but he thought I should talk to you about it. Something about ‘becoming a better friend’ or whatever. He's such a mom,” Dex smiled fondly at the though of Chowder and his pure true love for all his friends. 

“haha, yeah! He is. Not as much of a mom as Bitty was, especially for you. You followed that boy around like a baby duckling who imprinted on him,” Nursey chirped, and Dex’s ears got redder than they had gotten when he tried to be open with Nursey. 

“yeah, I guess so,” Dex breathed out a laugh, “he just… He helped me work through some of my bullshit, that's for sure. And he helped me figure out things about myself that I'd been too afraid to be proud of.” 

“yeah, you have been more willing to be in touch with your feminine side… I'll bet you'd look hot in drag. Some girls go for that kind of thing,” Nursey offered, his eyebrows wagging while he grinned. 

“well, yeah, I guess they do. But um…” Dex’s voice cracked, and he looked at his hands while he said with a red face, “that's not exactly the audience I'd be looking to attract.”

“bro, are you coming out to me? Right here? Is this the right dude? Two different emotional discussions at a time? Where is my Dex? What has happened to him?” Nursey was stunned, but then added, “I'm.. I'm glad you confided in me, dude. Did you plan on like, telling the team soon too, or is this just between you and me?”

Dex shrugged, “I guess I'll have to do it eventually. I just… Don't know how to go about it…”

“hey,” Nursey comforted, patting Dex’s back, “if you need my support, you know I'm here for you. It's a hard thing to do, but I promise you they're all incredibly cool about it. Obviously… They don't bat an eye no matter who I try to bring home.” Nursey laughed, and Dex smiled, then stood up. 

“I'm gonna go do my econ homework, but I'm serious, Nursey. Be careful with that guy. You don't deserve you get hurt again,” Dex said, then walked upstairs. 

Things went pretty smoothly for another while, until a trend started. Steve would leave before the movie ended unless there was plans after to have sex. He definitely only had interest in sex. Nursey tried to reason, He's a busy guy and he has a lot of extreme emotion, so he lets them out at once during an intimate act to show them as best he can. Nursey was okay with that, and Steve constantly tried to reassure him that he did care and it was just bad timing. He had a lot of things to do. 

That was almost enough for Nursey, up until Chowder and Dex approached him in his room, together this time with serious expressions. 

“Nursey… I have no way to tell you this besides as bluntly as I can. Dex was right,”

“He totally was not, I could take on way more than just three five year olds,” Nursey turned to see their faces, and was then confused, “that's not what you meant, huh…”

“No, that's not it, Nurse,” Chowder laughed a little bit but returned to his serious expression quickly. 

“Steve is cheating on you,” Dex blurted out, his face getting redder with anger as he thought about it. 

“What? I… How could you know that? I need proof… ” Nursey felt his face burning. He was in denial, but he knew. He knew they wouldn't make this kind of thing up. They were his friends. It was true, and Nursey was ready to cry. 

“We were at that new shoe place across from Annie's trying to see if they had the sneakers Chowder wanted when we saw across the street, Steve the dickhead all over this blond kid, like really obnoxious PDA bullshit. He led you on this whole time just for a good fuck once in a while! I'm going to kill him!” Dex tugged at his hair, and Nursey just sat there and stared at the floor, willing himself not to cry. But it just wasn't happening that day. His throat tightened, and he felt the tears begin to well over and spill onto his cheeks. He sat down on the bed, and just tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn't do it through the emotions coursing through his body. Hurt, anger, shame, but most of all, loathing.

“What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? Why does the world have to fuck me over like this? First Robyn, who was just obsessive, and now Steve, who doesn't love me at all… I... I…” Nursey couldn't speak anymore, just sat there and whimpered as he cried, and he felt arms wrap around him and a weight sit next to him. He leaned into it, figured it was Chowder, but when he looked up, it was Dex, looking full of anger but trying to hold it back to comfort his friend. 

“it's not your fault, Nursey. You deserve so much better than either of them could have gotten you. So much more. They're just fuckers trying to hold you back from being your absolute best…” Dex murmured, and he heard the door click shut as Chowder left. Nursey appreciated it; Chowder knew that when he was having a moment he really only liked one person there comforting him, and felt suffocated when there was more. It usually was him, but this time it was Dex. It was surprising, but it meant a lot, and it actually helped just knowing that he had more than just one friend looking out for him like that. He calmed down after a little while, and called Steve. Dex stayed for support upon his request. 

“Steve. I know you're cheating on me. I… before I hang up this phone and never speak to you again, I just would like to know why. Why? What did I do wrong?”

“what? No! That's not true! I'm not doing anything like that, it's just you,” Steve defended himself, but Nursey wasn't having it. 

“my friends told me they saw you all over some blond kid outside of Annie’s today. You wouldn't have dreamed of even looking at me in public, yet here you are practically mouth fucking this other guy?”

Steve quietly cursed, then pleaded, “look, Derek, baby, I can explain. Okay, you caught me. I fucked up. But I swear, it's just because I've been feeling really lonely lately… I just… I needed a little more than you have been giving. I'm sorry. I promise I won't ever do it again, please just don't leave me!”

“‘A little more than I've been giving?’ I've been nothing but giving with you, Steve! I'm the one who seems to need more from this relationship, since you never invite me out, you only want to be hidden away with me to fuck! That's all! You won't even introduce me to your friends! Fuck you, Steve. I'm done with this.” Nursey’s voice shook, and he felt a new wave of tears brewing in his eyes, and he hung up the phone, collapsing weakly back onto the bed and burying his face in his hands. Dex returned to the same position, holding his friend and rubbing his back comfortingly. His phone rang, but Dex took it from his hands and canceled the call, turning off the device and putting it on Nursey’s desk. He cried for a good twenty minutes until he shakily came downstairs to play Mario kart and forget about fucking asshole Steve, or creepy Robyn, or any of that bullshit. He was so thankful for his friends and their honesty. The truth hurt, of course, but he needed to hear it, and they were also right there to comfort him on top of it all. He could survive without a significant other as long as he had Chowder and Dex.


	3. Dex

When Nursey had the thought of ignoring romance in favor of his friends, it stupidly never occurred to him that perhaps that romance he was looking for would be found in friends. So that was why he was confused when Dex was practically shoved down the stairs by Chowder who quickly retreated back upstairs grumbling about “if you're going to get anything done you've gotta do it yourself” and “I'm tired of this nonsense... ”

“You look nice, Dex. You going on a date or something?” Nursey smiled at his best friend, who looked downright hot. He was wearing that nice fitting white tee shirt, having successfully managed to remove the stain 90% of the way so it wasn't noticeable unless someone was really looking. The shirt, he also noticed, had definitely shrunk in the wash a little, making his pectoral muscles stand out even more and almost hugs his abs. He wore equally flattering pair of jeans with one of his higher quality flannels on top. He was also donning a terribly red face which did well to make him look even cuter than usual. His freckles popped, and it almost matched his hair if it was yellower. Nursey realized that he was staring too much, and brought his burning orange, shifty eyes back to Dex’s where they probably should be so he could pay attention to what was being said to him. 

“actually, yeah… In a way, I mean,” Dex cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly, shifting his weight onto another foot and mumbling, “I was hoping it would be one with you, actually.”

Nursey smiled and insisted, “Dex, I like the gesture, but you shouldn't let Chowder put you up to something like this. I don't need a pity date, however much I bitch and moan to him about how I'll never find ‘the one,’ (so maybe he wasn't quite as over romance as he likes to believe.) I really am fine, plus, if you were to turn out to be a wonderful date then you would just break my heart once it gets weird, and,”

Nursey was cut off by Dex who nearly shouted, “it's not a pity date at all! Sure, Chowder coerced me into it, but I uh… It wasn't about your complaining. It was about mine. Over you… you are too far out of my league for me to be giving you any kind of pity dates.”

Nursey was dumbfounded. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense, though. Once the two of them stopped bickering so damn much and made the conscious decision to be friends, they were thick as thieves. He couldn't deny that Dex was an attractive man- he had been pretty shamelessly checking him out not a few moments before. And Dex did treat him a little differently than the others, but Nursey had assumed that it was just because they were closer than everybody else since they spent so much damn time together. 

This whole situation made a lot of sense though. Nursey smiled and said, “hell yeah, Dex. I'll go on a date with you.” There was a little nagging voice in the back of his head warning him that if it went bad between the two of them that it would suck a whole lot for the entire team, but he pushed it aside. He wanted to be selfish, if this is what greed gained him. He ran upstairs and put on something nicer than sweatpants, though not quite as flattering as Dex’s outfit. He wondered if he'd bought those clothes only due to their ability to emphasize his really nice, lean body usually hidden under loose clothing. 

The date was fun, a movie and dinner. Dex seemed awkward and a little nervous in the beginning, but once he got used to the feeling he was perfectly charming. Plus, the little bit of nerves was pretty cute, he couldn't deny. Dex really seemed like he wanted to impress him, and it was adorable. It made Nursey want to do the same a little bit more than before. Sure, he enjoyed being treated well on a date, but his treatment of his date was almost even more important than that to him. Especially if it was a date with his best friend. 

Dex insisted on paying for the movie and for snacks, but Nursey managed to convince him to let him pay for the food. He didn't care who asked who out, he wasn't just going to make Dex blow all his spending money on him. 

Three months longer of similar nice dates, and they were officially boyfriends. Nursey held his hand while he came out to the team, who were warm and understanding in their own problematic ways (“we've been waiting for you to admit it” and all that nonsense. ) Nursey felt confident that this time around would be better. He was some Goldilocks in a love shack in a forest, too hot, then too cold, then just right. 

His hopes were confirmed completely on one or two occasions in particular. For starters, when they were out on a date together and some jock looking guys were staring really poignantly at them, Dex eventually got pissed and stared right back for a good thirty seconds before pulling Nursey in for a long, sweet kiss. He would not be intimidated by some assholes, and was more than happy to do this in public. But it wasn't all just part of the show, as later that night they held hands on the way back, shoulder to shoulder, and he gave Nursey a goodnight kiss worthy of the kiss at the restaurant and then some, even though there was nobody watching. 

A second time around, he was completely reassured of how nicely centered Dex was when he told him about his plans to go out with a few friends from the English department, including a girl who Dex had noticed was clearly hitting on Nursey (though he did not reciprocate in the slightest, obviously) at the last kegster.

Despite this knowledge, when he heard about the hangout, all Dex said was, “okay, have fun. When will you be coming back?”

“You don't wanna come with to make sure Kelly keeps off your man?” Nursey asked, half teasing tone in his voice.

“I mean, you're more than just my man, you're your own person and I trust you not to fool around with anyone else… if you wanted me to come with to kind of buffer the awkward flirting I could, but you know I would be the cause of the awkwardness then since I can't really relate to any of them,” Dex laughed a little, but Nursey was kind of taken aback by how great that response was. 

“Dex, I think this is what love is. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you,” Nursey said completely seriously, and Dex smiled, a real true genuine smile. 

“yeah, I hope you did, because I know for sure that I love you… It may sound dumb, or cliche, or whatever, but I've known since we first started dating. I'm glad you've finally come around, late ass,” Dex threw in the chirp last minute, probably because things were getting very emotional and that was usually how he diffused the situation when he needed to reassert his masculinity. Sure, he was amazing and wonderful, but Dex still obviously had a lot to work on. So did Nursey, but he was ready, ready to be better with Dex, together. 

“hey, Dex? It's kind of funny, Robyn was actually kind of right. You were pretty fierce competition, huh? Thank god I chose correctly,” Nursey said with a wry smile, and Dex just rolled his eyes and pulled Nursey in for a kiss.


End file.
